A guy is driving around the back woods of Oklahoma and he sees a sign in front
of a broken down shanty-style house: Talking Dog For Sale. He rings the bell
and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes
into the backyard and sees a nice looking labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?", he asks.
"Yep," the lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he asks "So,
what's your story?"
The lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA. In no time
at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with
spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...But the
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport
to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch
of medals."
"I got married," continued the dog, "had a mess of puppies and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's full of crap. That dog's never been out of the yard.."
That's hilarious but a little unnerving. My yellow lab is looking mighty suspicious now. :-O
Reminds me of an old story I read again today. A burglar is breaking into a house to steal anything valuable, when in the dark he hear, "Jesus is watching you." This unsettles him greatly, but, as he swipes around the room with his flashlight he sees no one. He continues his search for valuables until he again hears, "Jesus is watching you." Now, truly concerned he searches more with his flashlight and finally sees a parrot in a cage. He says, "Are you Jesus?" The parrot responds, "No, I'm Moses." The burglar says, "What kind of people name a parrot, Moses?" The parrot says, "The same kind of people who name a Rottweiler, Jesus"
I always liked the punchline: Because he's a big liar!
