President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang."Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg , and I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"
"Well Jimmy Boy," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.
Barack paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike's farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."
SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
Having just returned to the great white north from my annual Daytona expedition. I concur.
My wife and I love the time we spend with friendly folks south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Although, it's gettin' harder to find true southerners amongst FL's northern imports.
Steve
OLD but still funny!!!:-D
It's gettin' harder to find true southerners amongst FL's northern imports.
>
Florida is not in the real South.
> It's gettin' harder to find true southerners amongst FL's northern imports.
> >
> Florida is not in the real South.
Yep!! I've been here 14 years... hardly ever meet someone "from Florida" , well, except for my kids I guess. That's fine with me. Southern work ethic here sucks.
That was funny.
However, I thought you were going with the tried but true "here, hold my beer and watch this!"
Been there and done that. No t-shirts however.
Steve
You could have come out to the Geico campground and joined us. I'm about as Southern as you can get. All I have to do is say a couple of words and there is no doubt.
This is a picture of my wife and me with some "real" Yankees, Jersey and Delaware type.
Andy
Steve
Absolutely, I'll drop ya an email next year. Great break from winter for me.
Couple years ago went on one of those tour boats by where the manatees converge around spring creek state park? and the tour boat operator asked for a show of hands of anyone who was FL native.
No one out of the +/-30 raised their hands. I asked the operator how often they find a native and he estimated 1/75. He was a retired school teacher from Boston.
Steve
> Yep!! I've been here 14 years... hardly ever meet someone "from Florida" , well, except for my kids I guess. That's fine with me. Southern work ethic here sucks.
Maybe all the southerners can run the companies and invite the clients in for sweet tea, while the yankee imports can do all the work. Kind of a nice symbiotic relationship. 😉
