An 80 year old man is in confession and the Priest asks him why he's here.
The man says,"My wife was not feeling well so I was on my way home from church alone when I saw these two college coeds with a flat tire. I stopped and changed the tire for them. They were so grateful, they asked me back to their place for a drink. Well, one thing led to another and I ended up making passionate love to both of them for the rest of the day."
The Priest says," Wow, that's quite a story. When was your last confession?"
The man replied," Father, I've never been to confession."
"What!?. You are 80 years old and never been to confession??"
"Actually, Father, I'm Jewish."
The Priest replied," Well, why are you telling me then?"
The man replies,"I'm telling everybody!"
Yo, Nate
That joke was sent to me by a 79 year-old buddy of mine. Makes the story even better.
Yo, Nate
Would he be from Colorado?
N
Dang
Yes and no. He spends part of the winter each year working at some ski resort in Colorado. Goes skiing every chance he gets. Males in his family for several generations have made a habit of dying of heart problems before they are 60. Some have been far younger than that. He is the exception to the family rule.
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.’
The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
However, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the
bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7 ) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the
ground where the cat can't get it.
He got an A.*****
Cow....
I did not know you took biology.
🙂
N
Nate
What made this story extra funny to me is that it was sent to me by a fellow who had a similar problem in a college class where the problem was to come up with a certain number of benefits of body fat. His famous answer for the last question involved putting attractive curves on female bodies. He got full credit.
Surprised, no one responded to my post, with the punch line that goes with that old numbers joke.
jud
> Surprised, no one responded to my post, with the punch line that goes with that old numbers joke.
> jud
Well....you know how it is. Some guys know how to tell a joke and some don't.
(Sorry, you can't really respond until the joke-teller voices disappointment that no one laughed)
😉
Time to contribute
- Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?
- Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.
- I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
- Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
- Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
- The only perfect science is hindsight.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
- If you want to watch the world pass you by, try driving the speed limit.
- A fool is a 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work.
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What’s the difference between a Hummer and a hedgehog?
Well, with the hedgehog the pricks are on the outside.
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A grizzled old trucker was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers walked in. The first biker walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter.
A moment later the second biker walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat at the counter.
The third biker walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.
Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, that old coot, he was not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles and drove off."
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A woman walked into a bar and ordered a double entendre. The bartender gave her one.
A neutron walked into a bar, ordered a beer and asked how much. The bartender replied 'for you, no charge'.
A hydrogen atom walked into a bar and said 'I've lost an electron'. 'You sure? asked the bartender. 'Yup, I'm positive'.
> A woman walked into a bar and ordered a double entendre. The bartender gave her one.
Well..sorry, but that went innuendo and out the other.
What does a frozen beer; a burnt pizza; and a pregnant women have in common?
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If they pulled out sooner, it never would've happened...:clap:
