(Stop me if you've heard this one...)
Farmer Smith had noticed his old rooster wasn't paying the hens much attention anymore.?ÿ He approached the local veterinarian to see if they made "little blue pills" for roosters also.?ÿ Sure enough they did and the vet gave him a bottle for his aging rooster.
The rooster was a little difficult to catch. So when ol' man Smith finally caught?ÿthe rooster?ÿhe was so aggravated he poured the whole bottle down the rooster's beak.?ÿ Afterwards he ran to town to care of some business.?ÿHe figured it would either kill or cure the old rooster.
He wasn't prepared for what he saw when he got back.?ÿ There were several deceased hens laying around the drive to the house with half their feathers pecked off.?ÿ The surviving hens had taken to the treetops for safety.?ÿ He saw three of his dogs wandering around with all the fur on their backside pecked off.?ÿ There were also a few cows in the pasture that bore fresh wounds on their backside.?ÿ He began looking for the rooster.
Way out in the pasture he saw buzzards circling.?ÿ As he got closer he could see the old rooster laying dead in a heap on the ground.?ÿ He figured he had given him an overdose and the poor thing had passed to the great beyond.?ÿ He pulled a shovel out of his truck to scoop up the carcass and drop him in a hole.
Just as he started to scoop the old rooster opened one eye and pointed up to the buzzards.?ÿ "Not now" he told the farmer, "They're just fixin' to land ! "
Soooo are you trying to give us a hint about what you??ve been UP to for the last 3 weeks? ?ÿ ?
Soooo are you trying to give us a hint about what you??ve been UP to for the last 3 weeks? ?ÿ ?
I wish..nothing really as exciting as that...And no, I haven't been incarcerated in the County Jail.?ÿ I'm proud to say this is still the only mug-shot on file for me:
Fact is I haven't been on the board here 'cause I couldn't log on and couldn't request a new password.?ÿ I tried for a day or two and just figured I had been sent by the moderators to Exile Island for some grievous trespass.?ÿ Then my Topcons sat down and puked and had to take a trip to the repair bench.?ÿ Finding a loaner-rental set took some time...work backed up and I was just busier than I wanted to be.
All is copasetic now. ??ÿ
Only joke I can think of here,?ÿ
Girlfriend yelling at boyfriend: '... and you probably didn't hear a word I just said!'
Boyfriend: 'That sure is a strange way to start a conversation'
A sunny day with two old men on a park bench.?ÿ One asks the other, "been getting any on the side lately?"?ÿ
The other old man thought for a second and replied, "It's been so long I didn't know they moved it!"
(insert rim shot)
An old farmer went to the vet complaining about his bull not performing his duties.?ÿ The vet gave him a quart bottle of medicine and said to give the bull a couple of tablespoons full every day and all would be well.
A couple of weeks later the farmer was talking with his neighbor and the problem with the bull came up.?ÿ The neighbor asked the farmer how he was performing his duties and the farmer told him that he had serviced ALL his cows and most of the other cows in the neighborhood.?ÿ The neighbor asked what was in the bottle.?ÿ "I don't know said the farmer, but it tastes like peppermint".
I remember that rooster joke from 50 years ago, which pre-dates the blue pill version by a loooooong way.
