Mrs. File has been hounding me to get

At the bald barber I frequent in NZ, there's a sign that says: "God didn't always create a perfect head, and for those that He didn't, He covered them with hair".

A buddy who used to cut my hair back in the army days always said, "What's the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut?"
Answer- "3 Days"

With clippers, you can DIY, then the only comment (rhetorical question) you'll have to endure is: "Did you cut your hair yourself?".

I have been using a Flowbee for about 25 years now. My only problem is finding someone to trim the nappy hair on my neck.

James

Momma Cash quit cutting our hair when I was about six. We boys actually started cutting each other's hair. I know that sounds crazy, but think about it...If I screwed up Holden's hair...in two minutes I was going to be sitting on the stool on the back porch with him cutting my hair. And the next time around we reciprocated the order.

None of us ever pursued work as barbers though. All we had was a set of electric clippers with a "headbone" attachment. It took all of three minutes.

JaRo, post: 438675, member: 292 wrote: I have been using a Flowbee for about 25 years now. My only problem is finding someone to trim the nappy hair on my neck.James

Surely Rodmen would fight for that privilege? But in case you don't have one, here you go:

I started to get a flowbee.
Then I got a wife...

Years ago me and a mate from work decided to get our hair cut the day before the company end of year Xmas function. So we rocked on down to the local barber after work. Neither of us had been there before. It must have been a long day because the barber didn't seem too pleased to see us. Oblivious, Matey enthusiastically lept in the chair first and bubbled out his instructions: "I just want my flat-top shaped up a bit. Take it easy and be careful because I don't want it to look bald on top". The barber fiddled around for a bit setting the comb on the clipper and the collar thing etc then placed his non-cutting paw on the top of Matey's head, looked at me via the reflection of the big mirror and made his first run - a very fast long sweep from the top of one ear over the crown and down to the other with what must have been the No.1. Matey looked like he'd been scalped sideways and by the quiver of his lips he knew it too. He never said another word. The barber carried on, still looking at me and inquired: "And how would you like me to cut your hair cut?". I managed to reply: "I'll leave it up to you". He smiled and nodded.

Richard Imrie, post: 438681, member: 11256 wrote: But in case you don't have one

I still cant figure out why "men" shave their whole body's, except for certain athletes. :confused:

You should be on your knees every night for having Mrs. File

Robert Hill, post: 438710, member: 378 wrote: You should be on your knees every night for having Mrs. File

I am.

Robert Hill, post: 438710, member: 378 wrote: You should be on your knees every night for having Mrs. File

I am

Rankin_File, post: 438712, member: 101 wrote: I am

She could have said it was looking a little orange around the temples. ; )

Richard Imrie, post: 438681, member: 11256 wrote: Surely Rodmen would fight for that privilege? But in case you don't have one, here you go:

You could weave a rug with the damned hair on my back.

I told my barber (of 25 years) that I was going to stop coming to see him. He asked why? Because every time I come here there is more gray in my hair. Now it is mostly white though.

There's is a friendly fellow who I bump into fairly regularly that told me a wonderful barbershop story a while back. He grew up in a small countyseat town about 40 miles away from where he has lived for several decades. He had two friends from his schoolboy days who went on to be barbers in that small town. He now goes to the one still in business since the other one retired. They have known each other for nearly 70 years. His habit is to pay the barber as he gets in the chair because they have gotten so wrapped up in stories from the good old days that he has left without paying a few times. That resulted in him being able to have a great deal of fun at the expense of his barber buddy a few months ago. What happened is that a man and his young grandson came into the shop who had never been there before for some reason. When my friend got up from the chair and turned around to look at himself, he immediately burst out with, "The is the worst hack job I've ever seen in my life. I'm not paying for this mess." Then he stormed out of the shop as though he was furious. The looks on the faces of the new customer with the little boy was priceless. So, was the look on his barber's face as he immediately began trying to explain why they had witnessed what they had.

He told me he was very careful the next time he went in for a haircut.

When I was a kid we all got our haircut at the same barber shop that Pops had originally taken us to after we were whelped. There was a barber there with the nickname of "Red". As we grew to teenagers (and compared stories with each other) we realized none of us kids liked Red because he would always put his hands all over us and lean on us in a very uncomfortable manner. All of us young guys knew Red was a pervert...and so we would always tell them we were waiting for Gene (one of the other barbers) to cut our hair.

Fast forward ten or fifteen years and we're all back at the Cash homestead with wives and kids to enjoy Thanksgiving. We get to the telling stories and Red came up in conversation. Pops wouldn't believe Red was a pervert. Pops still got his hair cut there (like he did his whole adult life) and Gene now owned the shop although Red had moved on.

We found out later Pops had asked Gene about Red the next time he went for a cut. Gene confirmed that Red was a little 'light in the loafers' and had various legal troubles over the years with his attraction to young boys and that is why he had moved on. Pops was devastated.

All us kids had known it since 1965, but only shared our caution with each other. Pops couldn't believe we never said anything to him about it. I remember Holden told him "hell, you didn't even believe it now, what makes you think you would have believed us back then?"

An eye opening moment for ol' Pops.

Just A. Surveyor, post: 440080, member: 12855 wrote: You could weave a rug with the damned hair on my back.

Other options:

Richard Imrie, post: 440163, member: 11256 wrote: Other options:

I gotta say........that is worse than me.