1. Is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand??ÿ
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack??ÿ
4. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing??ÿ
5. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing??ÿ
6. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there??ÿ
7. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected??ÿ
8.?ÿWhy are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
9. Why do "overlook" & "oversee" mean opposite things??ÿ
10. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right??ÿ
11.How come abbreviated is such a long word??ÿ
12.?ÿ?ÿWhy do they call it a TV set when you only have one??ÿ
13.?ÿ?ÿChristmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
Ah, the wonders of the English language.
14. Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Recover means uncover, not cover again.
Or a lot of Littles.?ÿ
15.?ÿ Jumbo shrimp.
16.?ÿ Pretty ugly.
Call someone a dirty dog and they may smile at you. ?ÿBut, call that same someone a filthy SOB (spelled out, of course) and the defecatory material will strike the propulsion device.
1. Is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand??ÿ
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack??ÿ
4. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing??ÿ
5. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing??ÿ
6. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there??ÿ
7. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected??ÿ
8.?ÿWhy are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
9. Why do "overlook" & "oversee" mean opposite things??ÿ
10. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right??ÿ
11.How come abbreviated is such a long word??ÿ
12.?ÿ?ÿWhy do they call it a TV set when you only have one??ÿ
13.?ÿ?ÿChristmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
?ÿ
1.?ÿ A vacuum cleaner is only good if someone else in the house uses it.?ÿ If I have to use it, everything about it sucks.
2.?ÿ Because the same person who gave us the date format of mo/day/year, when the rest of the world uses year/month/day, also designated the hands on a watch.
3.?ÿ Things often need to be whacked back into place.?ÿ When they fall out of place again, they're out of whack.
4.?ÿ "Slow up" doesn't have any sensible meaning.?ÿ The people who "unthaw" something that's frozen, or who "could care less" when they don't care about something at all and thus "couldn't care less" are the same people who will "slow up".
5.?ÿ "Fat chance" must be said with a clearly discernible tone of sarcasm or an eye roll, and preferably both, otherwise, like the terms in #4, it has no sensible meaning.
6.?ÿ Because most of us are half drunk by the 7th inning.
7.?ÿ Whoa!?ÿ Where did that come from?!
8.?ÿ A man exhibits thoughtfulness and maturity.?ÿ A guy is often just a smartazz.?ÿ If he is quick with his sarcastic and inane comments, then he is said to be a "wise guy."
9.?ÿ If you have teenagers, then you know that it's very possible for people to look and not see.?ÿ Thus, whenever you give one a task, you must "oversee" the task to ensure that they don't "overlook" key parts of that task.?ÿ
?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿDad: "Son, take out the garbage."?ÿ
?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿSon: "I will."
?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿDad: "I meant now." (overseeing needed to ensure entire task is not overlooked)
?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿSon grumbles, and takes the trash out.?ÿ When son comes back in...
?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿDad: "Did you put the garbage in the garbage can?" (oversight to ensure that the obvious point of the task was not overlooked)
?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿSon: "Yes." ... followed by unintelligible grumbling as Son goes back outside to remove kitchen garbage bag from ground somewhere in the vicinity of the garbage can and completes the task.
10.?ÿ Just tried it.?ÿ Now I've got a headache.
11.?ÿ Don't know.?ÿ I just use abbr.
12.?ÿ Because you can't even turn your TV on or change channels without the remote.?ÿ The TV and remote together are the "set".
13.?ÿ We do that almost every weekend at my house.?ÿ Is that weird?
