and drank all of my Beer?
I asked another Mormon friend about it, I said I thought Beer was against the rules for you people?
He said I should've invited at least two Mormon friends over then they would watch each other and not drink any of my beer LOL.
What's the difference between a baptist and a methodist?
A methodist will speak to you in the liquor store... 😉
The alternate version of the story is...
I have several Mormon friends. They come over and we usually have a couple beers together.
Well I had a big BBQ at my house and invited them all over and of course I stocked up on Beer. Well dagnabit they didn't drink any of it and now I'm stuck with all of this extra beer.
So I asked my closest Mormon friend about it and he said they'll never drink beer in groups, only alone or with non-Mormons.
True Story, supposedly...
My dad's whole family is Mormon. My Aunt Helene had a bad habit of drinking cokes by the case, which I guess is as bad as coffee for a Mormon. Her whole front porch was full of empty coke bottles. She also cussed worse than any sailor. The elders came over one day and said "Sister Helene, you can't be drinking all that coke and you've got to stop all that cussing." They came back and the coke bottles were almost gone, they congratulated her on her accomplishment. She said "Yeah, I cut way back on the coke and I damn near quit cussing."
OK, not that funny, but if you heard Aunt Helene tell it, you'd laugh.
True Story, supposedly...
*I* thought it was funny. 🙂
THING HAPPENED TO MY READING YOUR POST?
I MISREAD THE POST AND THOUGHT IT SAID MORON INSTEAD OF MORMON.
I THOUGHT SELF ISN'T IF FUNNY THAT DAVE,DAVE,DAVE ADMITS HIS FRIENDS ARE MORONS...
i AM SORRY WHEN I FINSIH LAUGHING I CAN EIEOPM TH WKPMC XXXPMKKO R EKOPM/ 111 THQP Qmklxm uuu roflmaoffffffff koopfm eww w wwww g;mk;sdndkk wkkeoem' kk ewlH the chicken kopmkcm is mklm sss efmfo s f wnk lklnl ,lninionl ,iiii ,;no n
albodigas arriba....
THING HAPPENED TO MY READING YOUR POST?
> I MISREAD THE POST AND THOUGHT IT SAID MORON INSTEAD OF MORMON.
> I THOUGHT SELF ISN'T IF FUNNY THAT DAVE,DAVE,DAVE ADMITS HIS FRIENDS ARE MORONS...
> i AM SORRY WHEN I FINSIH LAUGHING I CAN EIEOPM TH WKPMC XXXPMKKO R EKOPM/ 111 THQP Qmklxm uuu roflmaoffffffff koopfm eww w wwww g;mk;sdndkk wkkeoem' kk ewlH the chicken kopmkcm is mklm sss efmfo s f wnk lklnl ,lninionl ,iiii ,;no n
> albodigas arriba....
I want some albondigas!! 😀
Now I got the giggles too...:clap:
Mormon/Baptist joke
This old style mormon, and this baptist preacher had fussed religion for years. One day, the Mormon launched a new salvo: "Just show me ONE verse in the bible, that says a man CANNOT have more than one wife!"
To which, the Baptist replied.... Ummm that's easy, "No man can serve 2 masters!".
🙂
N
THING HAPPENED TO MY READING YOUR POST?
I've done the exact same thing.
Nearly Normal must be back
He's calling himself danemincemeat or some such, but, with communication skills like the one's displayed above, it's gotta be ol' NN himself.
That's like the old Baptist joke I heard.
Why do you always invite 2 Baptists fishing?
If you just invite one, he'll drink all your beer.
Lewis Grizzard
One of my favorite writer/comedians Lewis Grizzard had some of the best Baptist/Methodist jokes/stories that I have ever heard.
Baptists in the South are starting to lighten up, they will wave at each other in the liquor store, but they are still afraid to make love standing up because someone might think that they are dancing.
Small town in Georgia has two ministers, Baptist and Methodist. This town is so poor that they can't afford to give their ministers automobiles, they give them bicycles instead. These two ministers like to get together on Saturday afternoons and discuss matters of theology and such in the town park. Well one Saturday afternoon the Methodist minister is sitting on the park bench waiting for the Baptist minister, who is a little late, to arrive. The Baptist minister walks up and the Methodist minister asks "I say Brother what happened to your bicycle?"
"Well Brother, I'm believe that a member of my congregation has stolen my bicycle" replied the Baptist minister.
"Say it isn't so Brother."
"I'm afraid so Brother"
"Well Brother I tell you what you do. Tomorrow you need to preach on the Ten Commandments, and when you get to 'Thou shalt not steal' I want you to bear down on it and meet the gaze of the entire congregation. Directly the sinner that stole your bicycle will feel so guilty that he will return your bicycle"
The following Saturday the Methodist minister is sitting on the bench in the park when up rides the Baptist minister on his bicycle. " Amen, praise the Lord, a miracle has occurred. Did you do as I said and preach on the Ten Commandments, and when you got to 'Thou shalt not steal' did you bear down on it and make them feel the fire and smell the brimstone, and did the sinner then get to feeling guilty and return your bicycle?"
"No brother it didn't happen exactly like that ... I did preach on the Ten Commandments, but when I got to 'Thou shalt not commit adultery I remembered where I left my bicycle."
On liberty with a good Mormon in 62 and we went to Tijuana, part of the town was cordoned off by the Mexican Army, with a perimeter and guards at strategic places. Of course that area is where we wanted to be, so we snuck around the Army outposts and went in anyway. A patrol spotted us and the marathon was on. Down alleys for a while, until the dogs were turned loose. Over fences and through back yards, kicking garbage cans and whatever else was in the way of our flight. We got outside of the perimeter and kept going, headed for the border crossing, think the Army quit when we got through their lines, don't know because we kept trotting along and did not take the time to look. The Mexican Border guards knew we were coming and just stepped back out of our way. The Shore Patrol was right at the Border to intercept us, they did not need to do that because we ran right into their arms and were immediately escorted into the drunk tank, that was our goal and represented freedom in our eyes. If we would have been caught, we would have served a term in the Mexican Army, think it was 6 years, been escorted back to the boarder, handed over to the Navy to be Court Marshaled for desertion. At least that was what we were being told at the time. Yes, some Mormons do like to play and I have ran across a few down through the years.
jud
Mormon/Baptist joke
> This old style mormon, and this baptist preacher had fussed religion for years. One day, the Mormon launched a new salvo: "Just show me ONE verse in the bible, that says a man CANNOT have more than one wife!"
> To which, the Baptist replied.... Ummm that's easy, "No man can serve 2 masters!".
>
> 🙂
>
> N
Wendell can. He's surrounded by females! He has me, a daughter, a dog, a cat & 6 rats that are ALL females. Poor guy!! LOL!!! 😛
I should add, I have Mormon friends and :love: them to pieces. Same as with my other religion and non-religion pals. I've learned something good from all of them. 🙂
