A farmer went in to see his veterinarian about his sick cat, who was constipated. The vet gave him a quart bottle of medicine with instructions to give one tablespoon twice a day. The farmer thought that was a bit much but said Okay. He ran into the vet in town the next week and the vet asked him how his calf was doing? The farmer said calf? It was my cat who was sick. The vet said NO, you didn??t give all that medicine to a cat did you? Well you told me to said the farmer. Well how is the cat doing? I don??t know said the farmer. The last time I saw him he was going over the hill with 5 other cats. 2 digging, 2 covering up and 1 scouting new territory.
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Two old farmers were sitting around one day having a cup of coffee when the talk got around to their cattle herds. One said he had had some trouble with his bull. The bull just wasn??t servicing the cows like he should. He went to see his vet and was given a bottle of medicine to give the bull every day. The other farmer asked how it worked. Well it must work pretty well, all my cows are pregnant and all the mares are scared to stand still. I wonder what it is, asked the second farmer. I don??t know, said the first farmer, but it tastes like peppermint.
(Grin)
Andy
Then there's the case of the fellow who took his dog to the vet?ÿ The vet was scratching his head because he wasn't sure about the problem.?ÿ Stepped out of the room for a bit and returned with a cat.?ÿ The cat stared at the dog,then moved to a different spot and stared at the dog some more.?ÿ The cat kept moving and staring and moving and staring, then laid down.?ÿ The vet removed the cat from the room, came back and announced what the ailment really was.?ÿ On the bill he handed the client was included a fee of $2000 for a "cat scan".
Then there's the case of the fellow who took his dog to the vet?ÿ The vet was scratching his head because he wasn't sure about the problem.?ÿ Stepped out of the room for a bit and returned with a cat.?ÿ The cat stared at the dog,then moved to a different spot and stared at the dog some more.?ÿ The cat kept moving and staring and moving and staring, then laid down.?ÿ The vet removed the cat from the room, came back and announced what the ailment really was.?ÿ On the bill he handed the client was included a fee of $2000 for a "cat scan".
The way I heard it, the dog was passed out and feared dead.?ÿ The pet owner asked if there was anything the vet could do, so the vet brought in a labrador retreiver who sniffed the pet from one end to the other, dropped its tail, hung its head, and whined mournfully to indicate it was hopeless.?ÿ The pet owner still wasn't satisfied, so then the vet brought in the cat and let it look the pet over with again no positive indication.
The bill had an office visit, Lab test, and CAT scan.
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?ÿ The cat looked it all over, shook its head, and the vet took it out.?ÿ
I was out working the other day on an old dusty country lane with only one house on that whole mile.?ÿ I needed to get back to the section corner for a check before quitting for lunch so I jumped in the truck and took off like a scalded dog for my last shot.?ÿ I was going about 50 and looked out the window and saw a bird running even up with me.?ÿ I thought it was a road runner.
Just as I realized it was a chicken the bird took a hard left and zoomed up the only driveway on that stretch of road.?ÿ I slammed on the brakes, backed up and followed the bird up the drive.?ÿ I've never seen a chicken run that fast.?ÿ I had to see it again because I thought I saw something very unique about that chicken.
I got up to the house and the chicken was long gone.?ÿ There was one old fella sitting in a chair on the porch.?ÿ I bade him a howdy and asked if he had seen the chicken.?ÿ He nodded and pointed out toward the barn.
Then I said, "That was the fastest chicken I've ever seen.?ÿ I could've sworn he had three legs!"?ÿ
"He does", replied the old man.?ÿ I was flabbergasted and wanted to talk more.
"Doesn't that seem odd to you?" I asked.
The old man explained, "Not really. You see it's just me, my wife and our son here.?ÿ And we all three like the drumstick when we fry a chicken.?ÿ When our boy took off to go to school at the A&M he majored in genetics and developed a three legged chicken just for us so we all could have a drumstick."
I didn't know what to say. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.?ÿ "That's amazing," I was thinking out loud, "I guess the meat is as good as any other chicken?"
"Couldn't tell you," the old man replied, "We ain't caught one yet." 😆 ?ÿ
that reminds me of a joke about 50 years ago, which I can??t remember, but is about a pig a farmer entered in the county fair. To fatten the pig he placed a cork in the effluent outlet of the pig so as to retain weight. They had a monkey trained to pull the cork out but I forgot the rest. It wasn??t good...... ?????ÿ
@flga
..."the last thing I saw was the monkey trying to put that cork back in..."
