#10 -Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
#9 -Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
#8 -Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
#7 -Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
#6 -Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
#5 -Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
#4 -Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
#3 -Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
#2 -Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
#1 -Best Caddy Comment ....
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
I was surveying a house on a golf course once, and when two old men drove by in a golf cart, one said something like "Look, they called out the surveyors to help you find your ball". I thought was pretty clever and got a good laugh out of that.
True Story
One of my golfing buddies tells me a story that actually happened at what was his regular course in L.A. many years ago. They were having drinks in the clubhouse above the finishing 18th hole when a golfer drove his cart toward the green and stopped next to the lake, got out, grabbed his clubs and threw them in the water.
Funny enough, but about five minutes later, the guy comes back, parks next to the lake, wades in, grabs his bag, pulls his car keys out of the bag, throws the bag back into the water and drives off again!
Brad
They made a similar TV commercial a couple years ago.
They start showing a golfer waist-deep in the water with a disgusted look on his feeling around on the bottom with his friends watching. Then he finds the golf bag, pulls it up from the bottom, removes the keys and throws it back in the water.
Brad
One day the golf pro at the club was playing golf with three members and on the first tee the first member hits a big hook into the woods on the left and turns and asks the pro "What causes that? Pro" and the pro replys "LOFT".
The next member gets up and hits a big slice into the water on the right and turns and asks the pro "What causes that? Pro" and the pro replys "LOFT"
The last member gets up and hits a worm burner down the middle and turns and ask the pro "What causes that? Pro" and the pro replys "LOFT"
The member gets irate and says " Look pro, Bob hits a hook and you say LOFT, Bill hits a slice and you say LOFT and I dripple it down the middle and you say LOFT. What is this LOFT?"
The pro says "LOFT, you know, Lack Of Frigging Talent."
Brad
LOL. Maybe the story is too good to really be true!
messing around with golfers
the most fun i had in surveying near a golf course was picking up big handfulls of lost golf balls. survey for a bit. when the golfers are just walking up to the green, throw a big handfull of the old balls at the hole. most of the time they just look around, then laugh. then they have to try to find their own, proper ball. fun gag
Golfer "What should I write down as my handicap?"
Caddie "Well Sir, I should think your drive, your chipping and your putts would be a good start"
One of my dad's regular partners has a favorite comment when someone hits one of those that end up 80 yards from the tee, "So, does your husband play golf?"
Our rule is when you muff one that fails to get past the ladies tee then the first round at Hole 19 is on you.
If you get lucky and play with someone really bad then it's very likely that you will not have to purchase a drink on your own at all.
I partnered with a new guy last week. It took almost five hours to play 18 and was just brutal. Nice chap but no more partners until he gets a lot better.
messing around with golfers
[flash width=480 height=385] http://www.youtube.com/v/SHBTRmstGus?fs=1&hl=en_US [/flash]
It's hard to really blame slow play for our somewhat erratic golf game, but it does seem that you play a bit better when you're moving along at a steady pace. Our local courses suggest 4 - 1/4 hours, our foursome can usually get through in a little under 4 hours with nobody ahead of us. Five hours seems like an eternity...
messing around with golfers
Moe
I would be laughing. Inside. On the inside I would be laughing.
😉
Golf is like marriage
Do something right.
Do something wrong.
Don't know what I did right.
Don't know what I did wrong.
