I wanted to spice up my chili recipe so I wound up dicing up 3 habaneros, 3 jalapenos and adding them to a pot of chili. It's just a wee bit too spicy to thoroughly enjoy. I think I might take it back to 2 hab. and 2 jal.
I'll probably regret eating this stuff in the morning.
I Never Heard Of Chili Too Hot
The only problem I know is not enough beer to go with the chili.
Paul in PA
Try some fresh lime juice to cut the heat.
The lime juice stuff works. Where did you learn that trick.
Something I discovered a few years back. My wife doesn't like the heat like I do.
I Never Heard Of Chili Too Hot
Milk cuts the burn very well and helps the stomach and the burn the next day as the chili leaves.:-P
Geez Guys, Thanks For Nothing
"Here you go Paul, do you want a beer or lime juice?"
This is very disheartening, lime juice is what I put in my vodka and tonic.
One of the hottest bowls of chili, that I can remember was over 40 years ago at 2AM in a Greenwich Village eatery. I was chasing the heat with a lot of double Bacardi Blacks on the rocks. While I can remember the chili I have no idea how I made it back home to PA.
Paul in PA
Geez Guys, Thanks For Nothing
Paul
If you go to the Southwest you will find limes used in Chilis and soups on tacos etc.
Geez Guys, Thanks For Nothing
Not likely Mike. We are not sissies in the SW when it comes to butt burning chili's.
An Oldie but a Goodie
I laughed so hard I cried on this one. People up here do not know what
spicy is. Black pepper will normally do most of them in.
Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from Canada.
Recently I was honored to be selected as an outstanding Famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came.
I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy she hit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA; I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I shave been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting see hit-faced.
Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.
Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!
Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like she hit to damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach
Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.
FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)
🙂
An Oldie but a Goodie
I have that one saved. I nearly busted a gut laughing the first time I read it.
It reminds me of when I was working in Yankee land back in the late 80's and a NH yankee asked to try some chili I was making. Poor Yank took one bite and SCREAMED. Funny thing is the Englishman liked it. Thought it could use a little more bite. Me too.:good:
Geez Guys, Thanks For Nothing
Deral last I checked Oklahoma wasn't in the SouthWest. I am pretty certain my Chili will light you up. The trick isn't just heat.
The most pleasing experience at a Chili cook off is having a little old man or woman come up to you with sweat on their temple and forhead and ask, "I normally don't like hot food, but can I please have another bowl?"
An Oldie but a Goodie
couldnt help but to laugh out loud!
