Especially for those over a certain age

Just so you know, this is a copy and paste of an email I received today from a 76 year-old veteran who used to do my drafting.?ÿ At least one of the following stories should make you chuckle.?ÿ The one with the swimming pool caught me off guard and I laughed out loud.?ÿ Good thing no one heard me.

?ÿ

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"?ÿ?ÿ?ÿ She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you're over seventy.............who cares?

I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of
condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?";
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you're over seventy.............who cares??ÿ?ÿ ƒ??ƒ??.my favorite

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair
cut, you'd look all right.";

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there
instead of you.";
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you're over seventy.............who cares?

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a
woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and
said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."

Cost me a kick in the groin, but...?ÿ?ÿ When you're over
seventy..............who cares?

i got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you're over seventy.............who cares?

I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
When you're over seventy.............who cares?

?ÿ"Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not
years, and remember we do not quit playin' because we grow old.... we
grow old because we quit playin'.

May you always have
Love to Share,
Health to Spare,
And Friends that Care.