Just keep
peddling!
Thanks, Guys!! I ? You!!
You guys are too kind...really. Thank you for the daily kind words and thoughts. I don't post updates on Facebook because I try to keep that spot of social media my "happy place", plus theres some family on there that don't need to see it all. Here, I can post updates and not worry about you guys seeing them. Speaking of updates, there isn't much...Yesterday grandpa was weaker. He ate 1 bite of custard, some apple slices, and an Ensure. He had to go get blood drawn and it was such a tremendous effort for him to get down the stairs. He had to sit down at each step, going down the few steps there is that go down from the porch to the car. We realize that soon, he will not be able to do any steps, anymore. 🙁
He is barely eating and it is causing himself so much more extreme pain and agony when he does eat. :-/ He just sits slumped over and has stopped talking and won't answer any of my mother in laws questions. I wish there was something, anything, that we or I could do just to make him smile, but even those are gone now. :'(
Our daughter will be flying in on May 28th...maybe that's what he's hanging on for.
Anyhow, that's the latest. Thank you guys again for understanding and letting me vent. Between venting here and there and my daily walks, I'm getting great stress relief. :-$
May 17, 2013 Update. Hospice Has Come In...
Here ya guys go...today's update. I was also finally able to post it on Facebook. ~Angel
As some of you know, and the rest will now know, our "Grandpa" Ernie, Wendell's "Dad", has been battling cancer (multiple myeloma) for 2½ years. Almost 2 weeks ago, his kidneys failed and since then, he has been slowly going downhill. He basically stopped eating, and is barely drinking. Well, today was one of the days that we knew was coming; we just did not think it would happen as fast as it did, literally within hours; my mother in law (I am so proud of her for today!!) made the call to the doctor and the doctor immediately took action and sent hospice and a hospice nurse came out to help us with the next steps and get papers signed, etc... I had 45 minutes to get there, so for some of you that I abruptly abandoned earlier, and for those of you waiting for turns on my word games, I apologize. But now you know why. I have been through this before, and I can handle it and I need to be the best help that I can be right now for my family.
Thank GOD for everyone tonight that has been so kind and helpful for us from the hospice nurse, to the other doctors faxing the papers to the pharmacy within minutes, to the pharmacist that waited with me until after closing, just to make sure I got grandpas morphine for him tonight. Maybe tonight will be the first night in MONTHS that he can finally rest without pain and agony. I sat with him for a while and just held his had and we had some nice "discussions" about life and whats going on. He sure loves his kids...and he knows Miranda is coming in 12 days. He got teary eyed and said he is so glad she is coming and he hopes he gets enough energy to see her. I told him Wendell was coming in a bit and he got teary eyed again and said "That's my son."
Anyhow, now you know. Thank you guys for understanding, and for all of the kind thoughts, prayers, etc... They are truly appreciated and wanted. Anyone that has been through the final process of losing a loved one, knows it is one of the hardest things you could ever go through in life. So forgive us if we don't respond as fast as we usually do.
I'll still post updates from time to time, and of course my walking photos. It's my stress relief.
The hospice nurse heard my name and asked if my real name really was Angel and said "What a fitting name; she is an Angel." I thought that was something worth passing along to make you smile because it did me. I am usually very humbled and shy when it comes to comments about my name, but tonight, I needed to hear that. The nurse also thinks I'd make a great hospice volunteer; and I've been told this before so...maybe I will look into it in the future. We'll see.
And...here is my mother in laws update:
Just bringing you up to date on Ernie. His doctor called me personally tonight. He told me he is recommending hospice care to give him pain meds for his stomach aches and bad neuropathy. I asked him first if it was OK and he said Yes. The hospice nurse came in and gave us a prescription for some morphine. He needs some relief from his constant pain. The doctor told me he is at the end of his life and his body is showing it by not eating and not wanting any feeding tubes. I asked him first about all of this and he said no hospital and no feeding tubes. He just wants something for the pain. I know this will be disturbing and it was also for me. He could take the meds and feel better and want to eat. The doctor said to just try it to ease his pain and see what he wants. There was no time or anything on when he would need complete care, or if he would or anything. Right now he just needs some pain meds. Things went so fast and the nurse left not too long ago so, I didn't have time to let anyone know sooner. They work all hours so I can call them anytime to ask questions if I need to. The doctor said anymore tubes and treatments would be more pain for him and that this is the right thing to do. Keep him comfortable and pain free from now on. Doctor said let him sleep if he's sleepy and don't bug him to eat. I will update as I can.
May 17, 2013 Update. Hospice Has Come In...
Hospice is a good thing; they really know what they are doing. They make the a painful situation less so.
Angel - you and Wendell are in my prayers. Hang in there -
Ken
May 17, 2013 Update. Hospice Has Come In...
Our prayers are with you.
It is important that you can be there now.
Paul and Arlene in PA
May 18th Update...
Not much to update today. Grandpa stopped eating completely now, and for the most part, stopped drinking. Just a sip here and there. The morphine dosage that they gave grandpa was not strong enough and so he was up all night in pain. The doctor called and told my mother in law to double the dose, and that he could have it every hour. So we did and it took about 45 minutes to kick in but once it did, it actually WORKED. He was pain free!!! Oh thank GOD!!! He was able to talk on the phone a little bit and finally able to sleep without agony. His breathing is getting a little shallow and he's starting to show some of the signs of whats to come, but I think he will hang in there until his "girls" come see him.
Some friends came over to have dinner with us and say their good byes. It was an emotional moment for all of them as you can imagine. Tuesday, one of grandpas daughters is flying in. I tried to tell my daughter to change her flight info and do what she can to get here sooner, but she keeps making excuses, etc... so I am not going to push it. She knows whats going on and I've done all I can to inform her. :-/
So, that is the latest. Will update more tomorrow. Thank you again for all of the kind thoughts, emails, prayers, etc....etc... I cant always answer everyone right away but I really do read them all and appreciate every single word you say. :-$
May 18th Update...
So sorry to hear all of this, but it's a time that we all must face.
Don't be too hard on your daughter though. Some people just cannot cope with situations like this. She may be more comfortable saying her goodbyes after this is all done. Facing a loved one in the final stages is more than some people can endure.
May 18th Update...
> So sorry to hear all of this, but it's a time that we all must face.
> Don't be too hard on your daughter though. Some people just cannot cope with situations like this. She may be more comfortable saying her goodbyes after this is all done. Facing a loved one in the final stages is more than some people can endure.
I'm trying not too, Dent....But she has treated me like crap for years and one can only take so much before they have to stand up for themselves. Which I finally did yesterday. She was just saying such cruel and mean things that I finally refused to listen to her anymore and I refuse to let her use me as her punching bag. I'm a bit broken hearted right now but I will survive and be OK. 🙂
May 20, 2013 Update...
Sorry I did not update yesterday, guys. Was emotionally and physically drained from everything. 😐
Grandpa is hanging in there... the morphine seems to be working well and keeping him pain free. I had some nice talks with him on Sat night. He is glad that he doesn't have to be forced to eat or drink anymore, and says he will try to do both things "when he gets better."
He has gotten a few bursts of energy that hospice told us about and is doing strange things like picking up the remote control to call people, thinking it is a phone, and looking for water to drink inside of his jacket. He wanted to sit out in the sun so W's mom helped him outside. He wanted a doughnut so she went and got him one in the wee hours of the morning. He's been drinking a little bit here and there...sips of water and cider.
Yesterday he got up 3 times and sat with Wendell and watched the Golf channel. He told Wendell and Ws mom how glad he was that they are there, and how much he appreciated me being there and helping him and talking to him. All of his relatives and kids and grandkids have called to talk to him...and his daughter flys in tomorrow, thank goodness.
Anyhow, that's all for the moment. Right now I promised my mother in law I would handle the "arrangements" so I have to make those "phone calls" that no one wants to make but needs to make when a person is getting close to their final journey. (The calls to mortuaries.) :'(
May 20, 2013 Update...
Angel, personally I was torn between wanting to see my grandparents and wanting to remember them how they were when they were themselves. I visited when they were awake and aware of their suroundings.
I went to one funeral and vowed to never go to another.
It's a personal decision.
It is very difficult to say a final good bye.
Stay strong for those that are not.
May 20, 2013 Update...
My Grandpa was seeing things when he was in hospice. He saw old, long gone friends walking by on the sidewalk, snakes (didn't bother him), and birds. He held his finger out and let a little bird land on it while my dad was talking to him. All things we could not see, but we didn't let on that he was halucnating. He was not on any drugs.
I have read that seeing birds and snakes in your final hours of life is common. I found that facinating.
He was a little confused. He said he saw a rattle snake come in the room, but let it go. He joked that he wasn't sure why he didn't get up and kill it. Said it was not bothering anything.
