i did this once- sorta- so far.
bout 8 years ago in my former life as a survey PM at a civil firm i had this client…
client had a bulldog for a development manager- it was, i believe, his niece. or his sister, i don’t know. there are few people i’ve encountered in this life who were more unpleasant from the word “go” than this particular development manager. she’d call every 10 minutes- either me or the PE in charge of that end of things- for over a year. and i’m not exaggerating. nitpicking every last detail, suggesting how things needed to be done, all with an unwavering saltiness that suggested some lack of emotional fulfillment in her personal life. and despite working “with” her for a couple years and trying every single tack i could think of to thaw that icy crust, nothing ever worked.
so it’s december 2010 and two things are happening: she’s getting ready to toe up in front of the local authorities with a preliminary plat and site plan for the world’s largest gas station and… the spouse and i are counting the days until our long-planned escape from the kids to costa rica- our first “alone” trip together. so in the weeks leading up to it i was burning extra oil at the office every day, getting all my ducks in a row, etc.. and nurse ratched is well aware of my impending vacation and decides, apparently, that it’s time to unleash her full powers. last day at work before the trip she emails and says i need to change the plat to include a small tract across the road. “but you don’t own that land. tell me whose signature i need to add to this dedication.” (this was, as i suspected, a fairly transparent attempt to strongarm her way into acquiring that tract from the owner.) silence. “besides, i haven’t even done a full boundary of that tract, i’m not including that on anything with my stamp on it. please call me and we can discuss.” strangely enough this was the one day where i didn’t get a single phone call from her.
it’s, seriously, probably 9 p.m. the night before i get on the plane to costa rica and i’m in the office, and here comes the email. to me, my boss, his boss, her boss, and like 15 other people. “we are a very important and very influential client and if you cannot fulfill our request regarding the additional tract (which, btw, was about an acre whose sole purpose was to be filled with dumpsters for the worlds’ largest gas station…) perhaps we need to find another consultant.”
that was it. i fired right back, and added a few more people to the cc list (i don’t remember who, but probably more just for sh*ts and grins than anything). “you are indeed an important and influential client. that does not, however, make me a prostitute. you have asked me to perform a task that puts my professional standing in question, which i refuse to do. you have also been the single most unpleasant client i have ever worked with in any capacity in my time in the field of land surveying. i am now going to take my vacation. should the gentlemen here choose to retain me as an employee upon my return, you will still need to find another RPLS to supervise your next project, as i will no longer tolerate the conditions you demand from your consultants.”
now- that’s not verbatim, as my memory isn’t photographic, but it might as well be. i told her to FO about as diplomatically as i could. turned off my email, went to costa rica, came back 10 days later, walked into the office and got one of the biggest ass chewings i’ve ever gotten. but… i didn’t get fired. and after the world’s largest gas station got built, i never spent another second of my life working for that client.