Next Friday will be the 5 year anniversary of losing my father. I think of him often, but especially this time of year. He was a fantastic story teller, but this story is one he relayed to me from a neighbor and I have always enjoyed telling it.
My parents lived in a very rural area with large properties, so not many neighbors. One of dad's closest neighbors was a man named Sid. Sid was funny little man who could fix anything. It might not look pretty, but it would be functional. Another neighbor was a man named Earl. Earl was the neighborhood know-it-all. If he passed by when you were digging a post hole he would stop to tell you how to do it better.
One day, my dad and Sid were visiting out by the back fence and the subject of Earl came up. Sid says to my dad "You know Jerry, between me and Earl, we know everything in the world." Puzzled, dad asked "Hows that, Sid?" Sid says "Well, Earl knows everything in the world except that he is an idiot, and I know that, so between us, we know everything."
I think we all have known an Earl somewhere along the way.
My wife will be surprised for one of two reasons.?ÿ Either my name is really Earl or she is not married to the only know-it-all in the world.?ÿ Perhaps I should take a better look at my birth certificate.
May 21, 1997 my mother had a massive stroke and died on May 22.?ÿ My dad had already passed.?ÿ So, since Mom's passing I figure I qualify as an orphan and should be entitled to any rights accruing to orphans.?ÿ I have mentioned my status to a couple of older, wealthy fellows with no direct descendants in hopes they would offer to adopt me.?ÿ Hasn't worked yet.
I have mentioned my status to a couple of older, wealthy fellows with no direct descendants in hopes they would offer to adopt me.?ÿ Hasn't worked yet.
Have you tried to curtail your involuntary methane discharges BEFORE mentioning your status??ÿ ???? ?ÿ ?ÿ
I use to deer hunt with a rather eclectic bunch of guys from all different ages and walks of life.?ÿ One of the more colorful gents was a retired U.S. Army Sergeant Major.?ÿ Charlie had had been in WWII, the Korean AND Vietnam wars.?ÿ As you can imagine he not only had a story about everything, he also commanded an audience when he spoke.?ÿ He had also appointed himself as chief cook.
One evening he was whipping up an evening meal and telling stories while he cooked.?ÿ I and another fella wanted to check out a pond before sundown that was about a half mile away.?ÿ We decided to peel ourselves away.?ÿ As we left the tent I wondered out loud if we'd miss supper by leaving.?ÿ My buddy paused for a moment to listen to the story that was being told inside the tent.?ÿ He said, "We've got plenty of time.?ÿ Charlie's not even through the Korean War yet..."?ÿ
..guess you had to be there... 😉
My Brother married into a colorful family but there was one Great Uncle that they talk about alot. He would rather tell you a lie when the truth would have been so much easier. One day he was coming out of the lane from his house with his horses and wagon and met his neighbor headed down the road on horseback. ( this was a long time ago ). The neighbor said "Hey Barclay, stop and tell me a lie." Uncle Barclay said "I ain't got time! I gotta get to town and get some more rope. My wife has done fell in the well." Then Barclay took off just as fast as he could.
The neighbor rode up to the house to see if there was anything he could do until Barclay got back just to find Barclay's wife in the house cleaning.
