I posted this under "Humor", but I finally had my hernia surgery last Thursday (Feb 28) and this is an account of my past week....
If anyone is interested in losing 5-pounds in a week, I have the answer….
It’s called…. “The Hernia Diet”… It’s so easy; a caveman can do it….. Here’s how….
Step 1: Lift (or attempt to) something really heavy, it really doesn’t matter what…. Coca Cola Machine… Gas Pump… Your Car… A Cow… really, it doesn’t matter… trust me….
Step 2: Repeat step 1 as needed until “something doesn’t feel right” or you experience excruciating pain
Step 3: See a Doctor and have a hernia operation…
Step 4: That’s it! Within a week of having hernia surgery, you too can lose 5-pounds, or maybe more! Results vary!
Side Effects: include pain and/or discomfort before surgery, and DEFINITELY after surgery, inability to walk for couple days, loss of appetite because you can’t sit on toilet, the ability to make up new words and sounds, hallucinations and ability to send funny texts from drug effects, and several others that escape me at the moment….
Disclaimer: I’m not a Doctor, nor do I portray one on the internet and I didn’t sleep at a Holiday Inn last night….
Or The PE Diet
PE (Pulmonary Embolism) of the lung.
Have one of those and you can loose 5 lbs in a week. I lost my weight within 2 days and had to put up with hospital food and dehydration.
4 months later and now I’ve gained it back plus 5 lbs.:excruciating:
SD
WOW!!! Only 5 lbs?????
