My oldest daughter lives in a city with a population of 100,000.?ÿ She works in a different city with a population of 125,000.?ÿ She is basically anonymous to almost everyone she sees any given day.?ÿ Once she leaves home or work the likelihood of seeing someone she knows well enough to start a conversation with is very small.?ÿ Like me, she will start a conversation with a total stranger if the right opportunity comes along.?ÿ But, interaction with friends is more or less a scheduled event.?ÿ The people who live along the same suburban street where she has lived for about 10 years do not mix.?ÿ A good example of that came up last week.?ÿ A car was parked on the street next to her house for over three days so she and my youngest granddaughter started knocking on doors to see if anyone knew why the car was left there and never moving.?ÿ One lady pointed towards my daughter's house and said, "Why don't you go ask the lady in that house?"?ÿ She had to explain that she WAS that lady.?ÿ It turned out it was a stolen car from the next state when she contacted the police and they investigated.
I, on the other hand, must go out of my way to not bump into friends, neighbors and acquaintances.?ÿ This past weekend I needed to have a COVID test at the hospital thirty miles from my house.?ÿ The nurse came out in her PPE space suit to my vehicle.?ÿ She said, "You don't recognize me, do you?"?ÿ I had to admit I didn't based on the tiny amount of her that was visible.?ÿ Heck, I've known her since before she was born.?ÿ Both parents were in high school with me and her mother was in my class.?ÿ Her mother-in-law was also in my class.?ÿ I performed a survey for her husband and her a couple of years ago and I have surveyed tracts for both of her brothers to build new homes (They are both pharmacists).
When I stop in at one of the four banks where we keep checking accounts (not much money in any of them on a given day) it becomes a social occasion.?ÿ One bank is still family-owned and was started by the great-grandfather of our good friend whose three sons have worked for me at various times.?ÿ The president of one of the other banks grew up two miles from my home.?ÿ I could tell him stories about his dad that his dad would not want me to share.?ÿ When I make a stop at my dentist's office the first face I see is a woman I've known since she was in high school and I served on the school board 30 years ago with both her father and father-in-law.?ÿ The fellow who delivers my propane is the son of former classmate.?ÿ The fellow who works for the telephone company that responds to any needs with my telephone or internet service is the son of a good friend with whom I shared 4-H club experiences many years ago. Everywhere I turn, whether close to home or not, there is a pretty good chance of recognizing someone I know well.?ÿ Many times I have had a conversation with a client that leads to discovering I know part of their family or the spouse's family or once worked with a family member.?ÿ It is incredibly difficult for me to try to be anonymous.
As an extrovert, I thrive on socialization.?ÿ That's a big part of what the current pandemic has done to make life tough at times over the past year.?ÿ I haven't even seen any of my children or grandchildren since early March.?ÿ Well, I have seen them on family Zoom meetings.
My life experience has pretty much been the opposite of yours. I attended 5 different schools in 2 countries before I finished the 7th Grade. Three more schools in 2 cities before finishing high school.?ÿ
I worked a variety of jobs in my 20's before getting into surveying. I've been surveying for a bit over 30 years now, and I'm on my 15th employer in the business. At least I can say that I left most of these jobs on my own terms. I stayed with 2 of them for 7 years each.?ÿ
So my life has been anything but stable. I do not know anyone from my childhood or even from my 20's and 30's. I really envy you and your long term relationships. I can only wonder what that would be like.?ÿ
But there is hope. I've been married to the same woman for 33 years and have lived in the same house for 25.?ÿ And If I woke up tomorrow morning in Portland, Maine instead of Portland, Oregon I'm sure I would just get on with another day.?ÿ ?ÿ
That's what I'm talking about.?ÿ We can talk surveying all day long but our life experiences can be extremely different.?ÿ Common ground.?ÿ Communication revolves around having common ground.?ÿ On this site it centers on land surveying and our experiences in that field.?ÿ What adds the flavor is our individual differences in experiences.?ÿ No one set of experiences is better or worse necessarily.
In my case, I grew up with very little in the way of blood relation nearby even though Dad was less than two miles from where he was born and Mom was less than 30 miles from where she was born.?ÿ What few cousins I had, plus aunts and uncles, of course, lived from 600 to 1200 miles away.?ÿ If we saw each other once a year it was a really big deal.?ÿ Many of my classmates had the exact opposite experience.?ÿ They had so many relatives almost in their backyard they didn't need to associate with non-family.?ÿ I could only imagine what it would be like to have several brothers and sisters in the house all the time instead of just my older sister and me.?ÿ Spent a lot of time tossing baseballs and footballs into the air with me being the only one to catch them before they hit the ground.?ÿ I had to go searching for companionship.?ÿ Simple little things shape one's personality.
It keeps happening.
The phone rang this morning with a friendly sounding woman on the other end.?ÿ She explained she needed to get a survey to cut out roughly seven acres from a much larger tract and that her uncle had recommended me.?ÿ I went straight to the usual questions like exactly where is this located and such.?ÿ As soon as she gave me the address I was almost certain I knew who her uncle was.?ÿ As I viewed the tract on the online site for the county I said, this is now listed as being owned by DeWayne F.?ÿ But, until recently that would have said Roy A.?ÿ She was only mildly surprised that I knew that.?ÿ Roy A. was her grandmother's last husband.?ÿ Both her grandmother and then Roy had died within the past six months.?ÿ I asked, "So, is your dad Kenny or Marvin?"?ÿ DeWayne was a classmate in grade school and Kenny was three years older.?ÿ Kenny is the dad.?ÿ I told her I did a job for him at his home about 10 years ago, that I did a job for Ol' Roy about 25 years ago on the same tract as was involved now and that I did a job for the adjoiner on the south about 20 years ago.?ÿ Got the job.
A bit later I looked at my cell phone and discovered I had a voice message I somehow had missed.?ÿ The caller was needing a survey to cut out a piece from one tract of several I had worked on for a common owner about a year and a half ago.?ÿ As soon as that client had passed along my name the new client said, "Oh, I know him."?ÿ He had worked with his father-in-law in real estate for many years and I had done maybe 10 or 20 surveys for them.?ÿ At one time I was employed at the same place as his father.?ÿ I did a couple surveys for his uncle and even did one for his mother probably 10 years ago.?ÿ As we talked about the current project he referred to it by the current owner name and a previous owner name.?ÿ I added the original development there was by a different owner.?ÿ He responded, "That's right.?ÿ I was in school with his kids at the time."?ÿ Got the job.
Had to run a few errands this morning.?ÿ On the drive home I took a different path than normal to take a quick look at a group of stockers that might need some hay soon.?ÿ That route took me past the cemetery for which I am one of the board members.?ÿ I looked up the road and stopped.?ÿ I could see a funeral was underway.?ÿ I did not want to disturb the mourners and I definitely did not want to coat them with a thick layer of road dust from the county road.?ÿ I remembered who was being buried and knew within a few feet of where the grave was located.?ÿ The location is at the absolute corner of the cemetery where two county roads come together.?ÿ While waiting for the short service to wrap up I thought back to about 35 years ago to the Eagles Club when I had danced a few times with the lady being buried.?ÿ Had not seen her since that time period.?ÿ Her husband's ancestors were from the same community as where I grew up which explained why she was being buried more than 30 miles from where she had spent most of her 82 years.
For reasons of family dysfunction too complicated to explain here, adolescence and early adulthood were difficult times for me, and one result is that I didn't form any strong attachments to people from my youth outside of family members.?ÿ But at the age of 19 I moved from the metro area in which I grew up to a small city (30k at the time, more like 70k now) that hosts a large university.?ÿ I slowly immersed myself in the community, eventually getting involved in a number of nonprofit and civic organizations, and after almost 20 years established my own business here.?ÿ That was 28 years ago.?ÿ
While it's not uncommon for me to walk around downtown without running into anyone I know, it's also not uncommon to bump into several.?ÿ I know most of the city council members and senior staff, same with the school district folks (although those connections are waning since my son graduated out of the district), and an assortment of local business leaders and civic activists.?ÿ I place a high value on those relationships, less from a business perspective than from the personal richness they bring.?ÿ?ÿ
While I have no desire to be famous, I like not being anonymous.?ÿ I have no immediate family in town, so I suppose these other relationships are a kind of substitute.?ÿ I may not have the degree of embeddedness that Holy Cow has, but I think I get what he's talking about.
