Penguins
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life..
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Then they kick him in the ice hole."
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you
Peanuts
This guy walks into an empty bar, just him and the bartender, and orders a drink.
The bartender gets it for him, and walks back to wash glasses.
A few minutes later the guy hears a voice, "I really like your haircut". The guy looks around, but doesn't see anyone.
A few minutes after that he hears "That's a great tie you're wearing. You'll go places looking like that".
He spins around 360 degree, and it is just him and the bartender in the place.
So, he yells at the bartender "Did you say anything to me?", the bartender says "No. Why?"
The guy says "Well, first I heard somebody say they liked my hair, and then they said they liked my tie" and then the bartender says "Oh, that's the peanuts in the bowl next to you".
The guy says,"The peanuts in the bowl said it?" and the bartender says "Yeah, they're complimentary"
Peanuts
A penguin walked into a bar and said to the bartender,"Have you seen my brother?"
The bartender said, "I don't know, what's he look like?"
Peanuts & Penguins
How do you know there's a penguin in your bar? You can smell the peanuts on his breath.
Smart Arse, you got me!!
jmac
He got me too!! Brat!! LOL!! 😛
