My dentist is a woman in her early to mid-fifties. Her assistant that was in the room with us has a small pasture that I rent and I keep a few llamas there. A baby llama was born there a few days ago and has become quite the topic of conversation among the employees at the dentist office. My dentist asked what I had named the baby. I told her that I didn't normally name them. This led to telling her that when Mrs. Cow had joined a local group of the Red Hat Ladies (you must be 50 and over to join) they had assigned her the name LLama Mama. That is a standard practice for most groups of the Red Hat Ladies (think Erma Bombeck). Everyone is assigned a name for use by the group.
My dentist says she must tell me what happened to her 75+ year-old mother when she joined a Red Hat Ladies in her hometown. She was known to keep a significant number of cats well fed and maintained at her house. She was assigned the nickname "P@ssy Galore". She had many cats, so she thought it was a great name. She had no idea about the James Bond story, "Goldfinger" and the lesbian crime boss with that name.
My dentist was visiting with her mother and was asked to help make up some fancy invitations to send to the other members of the Red Hat Ladies to attend a tea at her home. Then she asked that they make up special envelopes and put her "name" on the return address corner. So, my dentist says, "What's your name, Mom?" She nearly died from laughing when her mother proudly said, "P@ssy Galore". Her mother didn't understand why that was funny. Meanwhile, my dentist is imagining her mother's mail carrier making note of the name when the invitation envelopes started pouring in.
Last year I walked into my dentists office for a scheduled teeth cleaning. I have had the same hygentist for the last 10 years. A new hygentist came out. She asked if I was Tom. I answered that I was and asked if she would be taking care of me today. She responded in the affirmative and led me to an office and sat me down. Now, let me tell you, this lady was late 20's with red hair, tall and some kind of good looking. She started asking all these questions about a tooth bothering me. I told her that I was there for a cleaning. She asked if I was not there to have a bad tooth worked on. I told her that I was not, there was nothing wrong with my teeth. She excused herself and said she'd be right back. Well, turns out that I was the wrong patient. Someone named Tom had an appointment to have a bad tooth worked on at the same time. After my regular hygentist cleaned my teeth, I told my dentist, a mid 50's fellow, that as good looking as that other woman was I might have played along enough for her to pull a tooth.
