An Oklahoma Kid's first Bow and Arrow set
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Life as a child growing up in Oklahoma ....
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough “sumbich”.
That got boring, so being the 10 yr. Old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in Chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.
One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether).
A light bulb went off in my head.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder.
My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can, so I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH SHOOT! He just got home from work.
So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes.
I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE COTTON PICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweet gum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That sucker got up and ran off.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport, having what I can only assume is, a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. Over our backyard.
There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head.
I don't think he heard me either... Not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on.
I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.
I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. And Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again.
Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
Thank You. That was my laugh for the day.
My folks knew better than to give my brother or me a bow and arrow. They wanted Grandkids.
I did have a friend that filled a huge red wasp nest with about six arrows, with us watching. Everything was predictable until he tried to retrieve his arrows...I made it out with only three or four stings.
Funny thing was that we had all our mom's nursing and sympathy all afternoon. Swollen eyes and red bumps. When all the fathers got home from work they all decided to go down on the woods and burn the nest out. None of us had mentioned that we had stirred them up with arrows....
Anyway, all the sympathy was gone when the grownups made it down to the woods and saw the 5 1/2 arrows still sticking in the nest. I think that was first time I ever heard my father use the word "stupid" while talking to my brother and me...
:good: That's a great story! My ten year old nephew is going to open a new bow Sunday morning. 🙂
Yeah, don’t fool with wasps.
A true story:
When I was young (10 yrs. Old 1960) my parents decided to ship me off to “camp” for two weeks. They went to Europe; I went to mosquito hell at a place called “Camp good Counsel”, a Catholic prison camp for kids. This is 3 years before I completely rejected religion.
Anyway, part of the “festivities” was a canoe trip along the Withlacoochee River in 12 person canoes that included the Warden...Er counselor whom was constantly shouting orders like a crazed pirate. Fortunately, I was in the lead canoe, there were three canoes full of “prisoners”, all of whom, like myself, were desperately trying to escape to a “Kentucky Fried Chicken”, Burger King, or some other reputable eating establishment that didn’t serve bologna and cheese.
As the first canoe, with me in it, rounded a bend in the river we all noticed a huge hornets nest dangling from a live oak tree branch right above our heads. The slave driver “captain” err counselor made it clear that if anyone some as much as breathed on that nest they would be beheaded with a canoe paddle right there and then on the spot. We complied.
By this time canoes two and three were side by side and passing around the same bend we had just passed. That was when some offspring from a rocket surgeon decided to whack the hornets nest lest it foul his new sunglasses. Well after a really good hit with the wrong end of the paddle all hell broke loose. Canoes two and three passed us with a wake I didn’t realize was possible from a human powered craft. Them, along with two thousand wasps, creating an amazing sight, they paddled their butts off until they were “safe”. They got to our destination about thirty minutes before the “lead” canoe arrived and had consumed all the hot dogs and hamburgers at the camp “cookout”.
We ate bologna and cheese things instead.:-P
Y’all have a great Holiday Season!:-)
Good times man, good story.