A nearby County likes to post the mugshots of their recently arrested people on Facebook. It seems that one musr be ugly as a mud fence to get arrested in that County. The current posting has about 30 people (one fellow is shown three times) and not one of them could avoid being labeled ugly if they had a Hollywood makeup artist work them over first. The good news is that none of the current collection of fine people owe me money. I used to be fairly good friends with the now-deceased father of one of them, though.
I think one factor is that a mug shot, like a driver's license photo, can knock quite a few beauty points off of anyone.
OK. "Old Joke" time...stop me if you've heard this one.
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One afternoon a truck driver stopped to pick up a hitchhiker on a lonely stretch of asphalt two-lane. As the gent climbed into the truck the driver noticed he was carrying a tote sack. He asked what was in the bag. "Squirrels" replied the hitchhiker, "Been squirrel huntin' ".
The driver noticed his lack of a firearm and mentioned so. The hitchhiker explained he never used a gun but merely "uglied" the squirrels to death. The driver seemed a little confused and the hitchhiker told him to pull over at the next pecan grove and he would show him.
At the next pecan grove they sneaked up on a tree likely to have squirrels. Sure enough they caught a glimpse of a furry tail run around the opposite side of the trunk. The man put his finger to his lips to quiet the driver. He then placed his hands on the trunk while looking up awaiting the inevitable moment the squirrel would do the same to see what was going on.
Sure enough the squirrel poked his head around and locked eyes with the man who instantly made the most grotesque face the driver had ever seen. The squirrel fell to the ground at his feet stone-cold graveyard dead.
The driver was mystified. "I've never seen such a thing!" Where in the world did you ever learn how to do that?" he asked.
The hitchhiker said, "My wife taught me how to do that. But she had to quit hunting because she was tearing up the squirrels so bad we couldn't even clean them." 😉
(insert rim shot)
