As most of you know, I take care of the dying. Unfortunately, my busy season has began. It always starts right before Thanksgiving and ends around Mid January.
There's got to be some sort of connection between the holidays and death, because for the last 7 years, I've spent every Christmas Eve taking care of a dying human.
Anyhow... Sometimes I just get bummed out and wonder why things happen the way they do, wonder if I did OK, did my patient pass in as much peace and comfort that I could provide, did I do my job to the best of my ability, stuff like that.
And then I'll see a post from someone I helped which tells me my answers. I wanted to share this post with you from a girl I helped a couple weeks ago, when her beloved 92 year old grandma was dying.
Hopefully this also helps explain why I haven't been on this site more. -Angel
"I'm crying while writing this but I want you all to know what an angel our neighbor truly is. I met Angel Lynn about a week ago in the most amazing way. She heard that my grandmother was being placed on hospice and reached out to me with support that helped me make my loved one's last days the best they could be. Having never met me, she came to my grandmother's room and spent a few hours with us answering questions, telling me what to expect, and how to make sure grandma stayed comfortable. She even brought me chocolate and a few much needed supplies for grandma. This was the middle of the night by the way. Every single time I asked a question this past week Angel answered with compassion and reassurance. During the last couple days of my grandmother's life Angel helped me way more than the actual hospice company that my family chose. I would not have known that it was ok to make Grandma's favorite coffee and swab it on her tongue when she could no longer drink. I would not have seen the huge smile my grandmother gave me. My grandmother passed away peacefully Sunday night while I held her hand. Thank you Angel! "
it sucks.
my Personal Angel returned to heaven on Wednesday Nov. 22, 2023 at 5:10 pm Pacific.
She was at home, with me and son Antonio, exactly as she wanted it.
Dreams do come true.
three long years of suffering are over now.
Antonio said (in Spanish) "There are no colostomies in heaven, she is free at last".
thanks Tony, that is comforting.
Holidays are a terrible time to spend in grief while it appears to you the rest of the world is celebrating. My father died on Easter Sunday in 1991. My mother passed just ahead of Memorial Day Weekend such that her funeral was on Sunday afternoon. Our little community has always had the big homecoming celebration on that weekend.
Four local residents passed this past week. 92, 92, 83 and 48. I stopped yesterday as I was driving to check on some cattle so as to avoid being a distraction. The graveside portion of the service was underway about 800 feet from where I stopped. No need for the noise and road dust to intrude on the somber ceremony. That gave me time to think back on the deceased's parents, Rolla and Muriel, and some of their descendants. Her mother's maiden name was Beech, which in the old country was spelled Beetch and before that Bietz.
Angel, you provide a fantastic service. God bless you.
My 95 year old great aunt passed away just a couple of weeks ago. She lived independently in her home of 57 years until the last week of her life. Her kids tell me that hospice was a godsend and that there couldn't have been a better way for her to leave her earthly bounds.
@NotSoMuch Agreed. My wife is amazing. I could never do stuff like that. Yet she is in her element when she does it and her patients and their families are always appreciative. I mean, I try to put myself in the dying person's position, and I always think how much I would appreciate just having someone there to comfort me, but more importantly, comfort my family and help them through a tragic time.
She's not hospice. She's actually a person that stays with them in the final hours. In my experience, hospice isn't always there, and, in fact, their appearances are quite random and not super helpful. They only do what's truly required and then leave, sometimes without any sort of compassion or explanations. I'm not trying to poo poo all hospice providers, but my experience with dying loved ones on hospice has never been that great. But my wife fills that void and makes everyone feel comforted during a terrible situation.
About two months ago, two men I have known for many years were going through the hospice care for their wives. One wife had suffered from degenerative renal failure for six years. The other wife had been slowly dying for probably 20 years. These couples lived less than three miles from each other, out in the boondocks and the same hospice provider served both. They died two days apart. I've heard nothing but praise for the women providing that service. The wives were in their mid-60's. The husbands are having a difficult challenge in adjusting to NOT having to gear everything around their wives' essential care. In both cases, their daily load is far lighter than before, yet they feel guilty somehow for something over which they had no control.
@Wendell I did incorrectly equate the two positions. Both would be difficult for me personally. Thanks for the reminder.
@NotSoMuch no worries! It's very common for people to mistake her for hospice when explaining what she does. 🙂
Awwww Peter...she was beautiful!! 💖
Amen that she was where she wanted to be, surrounded by her favorite loved ones. 🙏
thank you
she is my everything
You're welcome. 🕊
