Dear TED Unfortunately you are over 60 and the Defence Force thinks you are too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.
Defence Force
Dear Defence Force,
For starters: You have got the whole thing arseup.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, you ought to take us old blokes. You shouldn't be able to join a defence unit until you're at least 35.
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old blokes only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young blokes haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry'. We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some arsehole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am. Old blokes always get up early to pee so what the hell.. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical arsehole."
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Training would be easier for old blokes.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty sheila. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. He still hasn't worked out that below-the-hip jeans or shorts will trip him up one way or another. But who said it looks good anyway? Duuuuur
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..
Let us old farts track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
BTW
***How about recruiting women over 50...in menopause!!! You think men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
YOURS IN COMBAT
TED
Same goes for air marshals.
They could have just told me up front the age limit was 40 before I got to page 7 of the application process. I think I was only 42 at the time.
Seems to me someone in their 40s would be a far better judge of character than some snot-nose half that age who likely has "been around" yet.
Dear E.....
> Same goes for air marshals.
> They could have just told me up front the age limit was 40 before I got to page 7 of the application process. I think I was only 42 at the time.
>
That is the Feds for you. And they tell the state, county and local LEA's that they can't have an age limit. It is discrimination. They won't even abide by their own rules.:bad:
Stephen
Governments never abide by their own rules...
Stephen
i agree--women in menopause--killer !!! tdd
