I guess everyone gets these all the time, purporting to be from "The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational" (there is no such thing). In fact, some of the one's I've received recently turned out to actually be lists from the 1990's, and repetitive lists claiming to be "this year's" keep turning up.
In reality, the Post has something called "The Style Invitational", which has picked up the tradition started by New York Magazine (columnist Mary McFadden, retired the column in 2000) and has once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Of course, these could be very old, but this is a group that I haven't seen yet, so they are new to me, and hopefully to many of you.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a-hole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Not new.
A few years old, but still funny. One of my favorites is Bozone.
Another is Ignoranus.
Those Arachnoleptic Fits are no joke.... I suffer frequently :excruciating:
I must be nuts. I love that type of humor.
