What is it with this crap? I fell asleep earlier with no probs and like every day in the past 2 weeks or so I'm up around 0230 hours and wide awake. Yesterday morning about the same time I was up. A song got in my head and I was up until around 0930 hours before going back to sleep and didn't get up til around 1715. So here I am again after 0300 hours wide awake.
One friend of mine says it's depression. I don't feel depressed at all. Got a lot on my mind for sure: my Mom going through and SURVIVING lung and pancreatic cancer (both usually fatal) at the same time (this year), completely breaking up with Donna, death of my "little friend" Muffin on 7/3 (that one really does break my heart), getting over this freaking disease that snatched me early this summer.
Mean while I'm turtoring this one friend of mine in mathematics and it's taking me back and wanting me to finish that 4 year in math and go on for the Master. He!! I got him from an F to A in just a week. Maybe I shouldn't let that skill/knowledge go to waste. Besides that, I enjoy it. There is no emotions involved and strictly relies on logic. I'm down with that.
Wish I wasn't in a townhouse duplex. I'm ready to jam and do some singing.... like I did last morning (with headphones).
Sorry for the extensive ruminations. Got no one else to talk to.
E.
Eric:
It may or may not be depression but it CAN also be PTSD. (Post traumatic stress disorder). Everything you are describing fits that. You've been through a lot of BS in a years time; some of them the "big triggers" with your mom, Donna & Muffin. This would affect ANYONE'S sleep and mental health.
Trust me; I've been through it and it isn't fun. It's hell. I had to let my heart and body go through the different stages of the mental & emotional processes the traumas do to a human to get where I am now. I once read a quote in a magazine and it fit perfectly; "Just because I have to walk through the shadow of the valley of death doesn't mean I have to pitch my tent and STAY there". Man... after I read that I decided to say F this crap, it isn't going to live in my heart rent free ANY longer, and I gotta do what I gotta do to get through it and better myself. And I did.
You can too. You have already started by pouring yourself into the tutoring thing; this is a wonderful positive way to put your math skills to good use AND release mental energy that is inside of you AND help a fellow human being and see the wonderful outcome firsthand. Talking about how you feel with others that you trust and love you & support you is perfectly normal and is also another excellent way to help release and get through it. (I never say OVER because there are some things we don't ever get "over", but we get "through" and cope.)
I had the "can't sleep" problem for a while. I'd lay there and then start thinking about all the bad crap, worry, etc...blah blah...UGH it was frustrating. Then I read a tip in a self-help book and started doing it and it's worked for me EVERYTIME I've done it. What I do is when I'm tired and it's bed time, I will lay there and go through my day (or night LOL) and just run through it all and pick out and go over all of the "good" things that happened that day. I avoid ANYTHING negative or bad. It is NOT allowed! Sometimes my mind tries to drift towards it but then I tell myself NO, back to the good day stuff. Sheesh by the time I get through this I'm fast asleep or close to it. I can't say it will work for everyone, and I definitely doubted it, but after trying this and having it work for me it can't hurt for someone else to try it too. 🙂
Hope this helps...I by no means am perfect but I do mean well by what I say. Hang in there guy and feel free to vent anytime. Just don't let it consume you and eat you alive anymore. It isn't worth it. YOU deserve to be happy and be able to sleep. |-)
I don't sleep well at all. However, since I started building fence for 10 hours every Sat and Sun, I have no problem sleeping all through the week. Suggest physical strain for extended time to wear your body out. For me, this allows my mind to calm down. Whether or not the physical work is what allows me to sleep, my mind is calm when I go to sleep, and I feel this is as if not more important to good sleep.
I know work sucks in every job market now, but give it a whirl, it's worked for me lately.
BTW, I HATE building fence.
dang Noods
I never thought about a PTSD angle on all that. Perhaps you may be on to something there. When I got the word about Mom's cancers, that really did shake my rack big time. Her and my step-dad came by a few weeks ago and it was great to see them! She looks like he1l but at least she's alive. We went out for a bite to eat and when they dropped me off Mom says "I love you". That was the first time she's ever said to me in person other than a card in the mail or a message on the answering machine. They were never brought up as an "I love you" type environment according to her brother - Uncle Jim.
E
Good words there, from Noodles.
She sounds like a "Been there, done that" person.
Dittos on the HARD physical work, to help the body eleminate stress.
Even if it is a good hard walk, several miles a day.
Good advice there.
N
Xanax
> Xanax
Maker's Mark
Watching a "Chic Flick".
For Kris
Not every job market.
Cspan
> > Xanax
>
> Maker's Mark
Dang...Just put the NEWEST BLM manual on the nightstand...a little 'light' reading will put you to sleep...or in a daze...
DDSM
BIG EEEEE
Finish the degree!
Every time I go bush I wake up at 4.30 am and the old brain starts ticking so I have to get up and start computations!
Studying will make you tired. So if you are not working too, then doing some manual work or physical exercise will make you tired.
Keep away from chemicals! Drugs are designed to twist a normal brain and make you addictive as that is how the companies make their money. Too many people are seduced by doctors who are on commission to recommend unnecessary tablets.
RADU
dang Noods
>We went out for a bite to eat and when they dropped me off Mom says "I love you". That was the first time she's ever said to me in person other than a card in the mail or a message on the answering machine. They were never brought up as an "I love you" type environment according to her brother - Uncle Jim.
Sometimes a major illness and/or brushes with death make us realize what is REALLY important in this life (and it isn't material) and how much we need to express that and say those three words. :love:
BIG EEEEE
i'm up too, never been big on sleep--sleep is way over rated anyways--i've always been fine with 3 hrs anyway for over the last 20 yrs--tdd
