Imagine holding off on getting married until you are 48 then finding a spouse who is 17.?ÿ 31 years and a few weeks difference in age.?ÿ Further imagine being a bit past your 49th birthday when child number one arrives on scene.?ÿ You are 53 when child number two arrives.?ÿ When you are 63 and 64 a couple more youngsters are added.?ÿ You accept them even though you know you aren't the birth father.?ÿ Two years later you become a grandfather at 66.?ÿ At 70 your 39 year old wife takes her two young ones and divorces you to move half way across the state, leaving you with only a high school senior at home.?ÿ At 72 you are the only one left in the house.?ÿ What a roller coaster ride for 24 years.
When the wife left she severed all ties with her past.?ÿ She had nothing whatsoever to do with her first two children and their children.?ÿ They no longer existed.?ÿ The two younger children who went with her would have had some memory of their?ÿ early life and other relatives but apparently the mother prevented them from making connections.
A few days ago I was doing some research and was chatting with the lady helping me.?ÿ She commented that her mother had grown up not far from where I was researching.?ÿ I asked for her mother's maiden name.?ÿ Her mother was the child above who was born when her father was 49 and her mother was 18.?ÿ That started quite a conversation as I had played at her grandparents house with her mother and her uncle when I was a youngster.?ÿ Her mother and my sister were close friends in their school days.?ÿ Most likely the last time I had seen this 54 year-old lady was when she was less than a year old and running around in diapers.?ÿ As we discussed her extended family she mentioned that she had no idea if her grandmother was alive or dead.?ÿ Her mother had passed away from cancer six years ago and a sister to the grandmother had come to the funeral and reported that the grandmother was still alive at that time.
Researching local history and the families involved is a major hobby for me.?ÿ I now know that the grandmother died a couple years ago at 90 and that one of the "half-siblings" died a few years ago, as well.?ÿ Both are supposedly buried in a cemetery near here but there are no headstones to confirm the burials.?ÿ There is absolutely no mention in the obituaries of the local connection and "relatives" here.?ÿ I wonder if the remaining "half-sibling" would be willing to reconnect with this part of his family now that he is the only one left and 60 years old.?ÿ I vaguely remember him when he was no older than Second Grade.
?ÿ
DNA matches via genealogy outfits has brought out some interesting stories. I know someone who was adopted and had only what turned out to be a distorted version of the father's name so no contact had been possible.
Recently a DNA match brought contact with a half-sister whose father's name was close enough.
Then a couple months later another match turns up to a half sister to each, who was previously unknown to either. That guy certainly got around, but won't admit it.
Something similar has happened to the 54 year-old lady I mentioned above, but on her father's side of the family instead.?ÿ When her father was about 16 he accidentally overheard a couple of long time local ladies talking about how he had been adopted but how his "mother" had insisted on keeping it quiet.?ÿ He did not go running to his parents to ask questions.?ÿ He kept it bottled up, assuming that one day they would tell him the truth.?ÿ When the DNA testing option finally came along, he did it, plus he quietly talked a close relative into doing the same thing.?ÿ Sure enough, he was not related to the close relative.?ÿ Within a few months a lady from another state contacted him.?ÿ I forget if they were full siblings or half-siblings.?ÿ That led to the discovery of his birth parents, who were both deceased.?ÿ But, his "mother" was still alive.?ÿ When he confronted her with what he had discovered she was very upset.?ÿ She had hoped he would never learn he was not related to either of his parents.?ÿ She was still mad at him when she died.
In the story above about the two younger half-siblings moving away with the mother, I am almost certain the man the mother eventually married was not the birth father to either of those children.?ÿ They took his surname, though.?ÿ They were so young at the time that they probably assumed her ex-husband was their father.
These stories show why extensive ancestry lines may be entertaining but are likely to be wrong at some point in many lines.?ÿ The records may show you are descended from the king in some far back century but I wouldn't bet a lot on it.
Story: back in Oklahoma, in the 1930's a woman married. She had 2 children. A boy (Mr E) and a girl. Dad was a drunk. Mamma got enough of it, and abandoned ship. She fled to California. She remarried. This left Mr E, and his little sister, under the care of a drunk. Mr E took care of little Sister, and got a job at a farm. Enough to keep them fed. Then, he took a second job, to save money, to go to find mamma.?ÿ Mr E is 12 yrs old. Mr. E worked a whole year, and got ready to leave. His drunk dad stole his savings. Mr. E worked another whole year, at the 2 jobs, saving again. This time, he hid his savings better, and caught a train, with sister, to California. Found mom. Mom was mortified, because she had not told new husband she had kids. She had her own kids call her aunt, to hide the situation. Well, eventually, new husband figured it out, and claimed, and loved her 2 kids. Well, Mr E had learned how to work, and started a business, that nearly went well, but, it blew up, and he went bankrupt. Well, Mr E then took on his stepfathers name, in order to get a fresh start, and bury the bankruptcy. But, before this, he got married, and had 4 small children. They had the same last name as his Oklahoma drunk dad. So, Mr E comes to Arkansas, with a fresh name, and buys a farm. He makes payments on the farm. And, buys oil wells, in Oklahoma. Mr E died late, 2019. Left behind his second wife, and her 4 kids. And his 2 kids, (who bear his bankruptcy name). At his funeral, he and his wife, had the same name. But none of the kids had the same last name. Mr E's first wife, and 2 daughters died previously, in a car crash. So, between them, the had 8 kids. Six were alive, at his funeral. Nobody carries his stepfathers name. He died a multi-millionaire.?ÿ
We were friends. But, I never understood all the name problems, until after he passed.
Maybe someday, the full impact of our crazy histories, and youthful meanderings will come out.
Time marches on.
Nate
There was a family with kids that were in school with my kids. When the oldest kid was about ten the parents divorced. Mom left and the kids stayed with Dad. Several months later Dad married his ex-wife's sister. The kids called her Aunt Mom.
I remember well my next door neighbor's father. His name was Ora. Ora's father was named Emmett. Emmett married a woman and they had several kids before she died. Meanwhile, a sister of Emmett's wife had married and then been widowed at a young age. Emmett then married the sister and they had several kids, including Ora. All of the kids had the same grandparents that way. Yet, technically, every kid was a half-sibling to several of the other kids but a full sibling to several others.
A story my mother told several times concerned the fact that her father had decided on his 17th birthday that he finally had reached the point where he should start shaving.?ÿ Three days later.....................my grandmother was born.?ÿ That's correct.?ÿ My grandfather was 17 years and three days older than my grandmother.?ÿ His own father had died at a relatively young age so he had taken the responsibility of assisting his mother in operating the farm while his other siblings married sooner and moved some distance away.?ÿ He married at 37 and had his children at age 39, 41 and 43.
I sometimes chatted genealogy with an older guy at work, who said when he first stopped to think about it he couldn't resolve why the family always referred to a married couple as Grandma and Uncle John.?ÿ Through his genealogy research he figured out his father's grandpa had died and grandma married this guy's mother's Uncle John.
Knew a couple while in college where the husband's father was deceased and the wife's mother was deceased. So, they included his mother and her father in their events. After several years of doing this the parents decided to date. Then they got married. So, my buddy's mother also became his mother-in-law and his father-in-law became his stepfather.
We're not quite to the 1947 song,?ÿ I'm My Own Grandpa.?ÿ Wikipedia says the story (not the song) goes back to 1822.
From Wikipedia
Real-life incidents
According to a 2007 article, the song was inspired by an anecdote that has been published periodically by newspapers for well over 150 years.[2] The earliest citation was from the Republican Chronicle of Ithaca, New York on April 24, 1822 and that was copied from the London Literary Gazette:
A proof that a man may be his own Grandfather.—There was a widow and her daughter-in-law, and a man and his son. The widow married the son, and the daughter the old man; the widow was, therefore, mother to her husband's father, consequently grandmother to her own husband. They had a son, to whom she was great-grandmother; now, as the son of a great-grandmother must be either a grandfather or great-uncle, this boy was therefore his own grandfather. N. B. This was actually the case with a boy at a school in Norwich.[3]
An 1884 book, The World of Wonders, attributed the original "remarkable genealogical curiosity" to Hood's Magazine.[4]
What a coincidence!?ÿ Yesterday I was chatting with a life-long friend.?ÿ We were discussing a family that had lived in our neighborhood when we were young.?ÿ I learned something I never knew.?ÿ My friend, Juanita, is married to Albert.?ÿ Juanita is 71 and Albert is 88.?ÿ They married when Juanita was 16.?ÿ I knew all of that history.?ÿ What I didn't know was that Albert has a son who is 70.?ÿ Juanita had met Albert because she was dating his son.?ÿ She dumped the son and married the father.
