Any alligator wrestlers out there?
No alligator. A mature male llama. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llama
The one I was wrestling today was pretty much a twin to the one in the photo in the link except mine had a very unhappy look on his face. Six feet tall. Probably close to 400 lb. The llama, that is. Not me. I'm over six feet but only about 240 lb.
My goal was to move him from one pasture to another. Everything was fine until I had his nose about one foot from the stock trailer. The alleyway was only about three feet wide, so in order to turn around he had to raise up on his hind legs. He was really tall then. His problem was me as I dove into his chest to stop him from pivoting and forcing him forward into the trailer. He decided he wasn't happy about that. I didn't care. He was going in the trailer or else. (The or else being my funeral) We achieved a stalemate. That's when I drew on my secret weapon. A lasso I had left within arm's reach. I quickly dropped the loop over his neck and twisted the rope around the rear sidepost of the trailer. Now we were both stuck. Grabbed my cell phone and called The Llama Mama. Within five minutes Mrs. Cow had arrived and was threading the end of the rope around a sidepost near the front of the trailer while I held the big guy in place. Every time I got him an inch further into the trailer she would take the slack out of the rope. The coupe de grace was when I bent down, grabbed both of his hind legs and hoisted him off the ground and into the trailer. Getting the loop off of his neck was far easier said than done as he slammed me against the side of the trailer repeatedly with his big, hairy body. Bloodied and sweating profusely, I snuck out the escape door as he hocked a delightfully smelling llama loogie my direction. Ah, fresh green grass cud mixed with llama spit!
After catching my breath, we made a three mile journey to the other pasture. As I open the rear trailer door to release him he saw them. Five lovely lady llamas with young crias (baby llamas) at their sides and two more lovely ladies who will add to the herd soon. He didn't stop to thank me as he rushed by on his way to introduce himself.
Llamas...no sympathy here.....you did it to yourself..
Next time. He's too purty ta et yet.
llama burgers
Back in the early nineties in Pond Creek, Ok. there use to be an old "Zippy Freeze" drive-in that had turned into a greasy lunch counter. If you've ever been to Pond Creek you'd know that any place to eat lunch is a big plus.
This fella use to advertise "Emu Burgers", and they were good. One day at lunch he asked us how we'd feel about a "Llama Burger". I said I'd never had one and asked if they were any good. He said he didn't know either, but was fixin' to find out. His wife had two of them and he was really getting tired of their shenanigans...;-)
(to the tune of I Fought the Law and the Law Won)
I fought the llama
and
I won
Let's see...
You have bruises and aches and contusions.
The daddy llama probably has already forgotten your altercation.
The daddy llama got the mama llamas.
Victory depends on your point of view, I suppose...
