In an earlier thread there was mentioned that cows face North.
http://www.wisegeek.com/why-do-cows-face-north-south.htm
To which Mr. Cow replyed
"That is the biggest pile of bovine manure I have ever encountered. As you know, I spend a lot of time standing around with cows. They align with little else than the next bite of feed or sip of water. Alignment will depend much, much more on environmental factors like wind direction and position of the sun in the sky on cold days and hot days where certain alignments provide better comfort. BTW, I resent them nosey satelites monitoring my activity."
I agree with Mr. Cow, but was amazed at all the research that stated otherwise when I Googled it. So here's a new North arrow for you Sir. Sorry about you Southerners, nothing personal, butt I hear it is hot down there. 😉
Hot butt. Hilarious!
That's going on my next ag topo.........
All I can say is that I'm glad you didn't start a north arrow below my rump and have the head of the arrow sprouting out of my muzzle.
“Sorry about you Southerners, nothing personal, butt I hear it is hot down there.”
Us Southerners are not offended by such ramblings from our Northern cohorts. Your frustration and insane jealousy of our Southern lifestyle is to be expected. After all, where do you suppose Southern fried chicken, biscuits, sweet tea, grits, and collard greens come from?
Just a few insights into Southerness……
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it --- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that reads "I aint from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
Y’all have a great weekend! B-)
ps: I currently have some Grit Trees for sale ($99/ea or 3 for $68) they make fine grits!!!!
Great list. Been a Yankee all my life, hate the heat, humidity, bugs ect..., But I do confess I love the South for one reason, the people!
> In an earlier thread there was mentioned that cows face North.
>
> To which Mr. Cow replyed
> "That is the biggest pile of bovine manure I have ever encountered. As you know, I spend a lot of time standing around with cows. They align with little else than the next bite of feed or sip of water. Alignment will depend much, much more on environmental factors like wind direction and position of the sun in the sky on cold days and hot days where certain alignments provide better comfort. BTW, I resent them nosey satelites monitoring my activity."
>
Dude...don't worry about it. He's a cow for cripes sake. He probably is always facing north himself and doesn't even know it. Of course he is going to tell you he faces different directions for more intelligent reasons.....but he's a cow.... Does he even know that all cows are female, and that he just likes to call himself a male? And don't get me started on the "holy" business 😉
I done seen on to it!
😀
"He's a cow for cripes sake."
Yep, but he's a "Holy Cow" in case you haven't noticed. Besides if it wasn't for cows there would be nothing for cowboys to ride on.
Y'all have a great weekend! B-)
