A duck walks into a store and asks the guy behind the counter for duck food. "Don't have any duck food. Just dog food and cat food." "Okay, thanks," the duck says, and leaves. The next day the duck comes back. "Got any duck food?" he asks. "I told you -- only dog food and cat food." "Okay, thanks." The next day the duck shows up again, asking for duck food. Now the man behind the counter is annoyed. "I've told you for three days running, we don't carry duck food." "Okay, thanks." The fourth day, here comes the duck. "I'm looking for the duck food section." The counterman blows his stack. "You come in here one more time and ask for duck food, and I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor. You got that?" "Okay, thanks." Next day the duck shows up again. "What do you want?" the counterman asks threateningly. "Um, got any nails?" the duck says. "No, no nails." "Okay, got any duck food?"
This one Quacked Me Up!!! ????ÿ
I can't take credit it was stolen from the Western States Conference>
I sure a few people will be all a flutter.......
I've said it before but my favourite duck jokes are:
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see Gregory Peck.
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Why did the chicken run back across the road?
Because he saw Sam Peckinpah.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
(Choose answer that suits your area)
To show the raccoon/armadillo it could be done.
My favorite chicken-crossing-the-road story is from a contest where participants wrote what they thought famous writers would say:?ÿ the Hemingway was the best
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
In the rain.
I love all of these jokes.?ÿ Please, Sir, may I have more? (apologies to Oliver Twist)
I remember you being very fond of that joke about Tasmania.
You asked for it ...
Why did the chicken cross the road??ÿ The road was so long it couldn't walk around it.
Why did the duck cross the road??ÿ?ÿ It thought it was a chicken.
Why did the chicken NOT cross the road??ÿ There was a KFC on the other side.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road??ÿ?ÿ There weren't any chickens around yet, and somebody had to do it.
Why did the chicken cross the playground??ÿ?ÿ To get to the other slide.
Why did the goose cross the road??ÿ The chicken was needed the day off.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road??ÿ?ÿ It lacked the guts.
Why did the dog cross the road??ÿ It was chasing the chicken.
Why did the cat cross the road??ÿ Because the owner didn't want it to.
Why did the chicken cross the road??ÿ It thought it was an eggs-celent idea.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Please remind me of that one.?ÿ I've slept more than twice since hearing it.
It was about the consequences for livestock and humans getting lost in Tasmania.
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https://surveyorconnect.com/community/humor/dont-get-lost-in-tasmania/#post-492886
I'm definitely not going to get lost.?ÿ Nope.?ÿ No way.
Thanks for reviving that story.
It got me musing that every country has its "State of Tasmania" but I was too scared to enquire as to which one that might be in the USA.
Just a suggestion from the sidelines, If any of y'all are seriously thinking of taking the plunge into standup comedy don't give up surveying just yet. ?????ÿ
