I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.
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The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers,
so I did.....
she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
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Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile" and other names at me, just because
my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
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The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops.... although, they do make me look a bit gay.
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Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the
Kent Show, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another
man of the same calibre."
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
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Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in.
Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick.
It's great though. It does everything -
KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot.."
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Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain ?
17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not
understanding the question please."
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The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
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Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she
wants the 12 clothes pegs back.
You're a bad one, Mr. Beer.
Hmmm...I don't think I've ever said that before.
Don
[flash width=480 height=360] http://www.youtube.com/v/78b67l_yxUc?version=3&hl=en_US [/flash]
ahh ... some British humor early in the morning, 7:54 am.
What a beginning of the day!
:good:
chr.
The British seem to embrace irony in a way that the United States cannot comprehend. Perhaps the flavor of it lacks the bitter ingredient that pervades the popular culture on Main Street America.
If you like Faulty Towers - you should definitely check out Blackadder...
[flash width=420 height=315] http://www.youtube.com/v/I88WW2xDlAc?version=3&hl=en_GB [/flash]
