It's that time again, boys and girls...
Wendell, my Dad is 100 and still fond of giving me advice. This isn't so much advice as an observation he likes to repeat frequently.
It is what it is! I wouldn't worry about it.
Of course, my Dad doesn't take his own advice and being 100 with only a few chores around the house to keep him busy, he constantly worries whether there's a reason or not.
I know I can be a crusty old curmudgeon, but not always. This site is what it is because of you and Angel. Thanks from an old guy who appreciates a place to share and chat with friends and professional colleagues.
nice
I am SOOOOOOOOOOO glad I did not post the pic I took the other day. My traveling buddy and I both roared when we saw the sign in someone's front yard. We thought it was hilarious. That does not mean everyone viewing this site would have seen the humor in it. In fact, I was certain some would be offended. Thus, it did not appear.
The trouble is that this can apply so often that nearly everything will upset somebody. Before leaping to the keyboard everyone should take a moment to think if what was posted was really (intentionally) offensive, and if so to whom - if just you then ignore it. Some years ago on this site I referred to a place name in UK (printed on all the official maps) and was promptly "potty mouthed" by the software. Anybody in the UK or Holland wouldn't have thought twice about the name but software embedded somewhere in the deepest south of USA took great exception.
Way back in the Sixth Grade I had a strong disagreement with a male classmate. I called him an SOB with emphasis on each word. He became furious and began hitting me because I had called his mother a b****. I knew his mother. She was a very nice person. I had never connected the phrase, SOB, to somehow being disrespectful of someone's mother. He did a good job of driving the point home.
It was many years later before I discovered that his surname was the same as his mother's maiden name. Both he and his older brother had no idea who their birth father(s) were. Thus, he was staunchly defending his mother against name calling.
A couple of iterations back in what is now SurveyorConnect, I used a phrase that I thought meant one thing but, embarrassingly, discovered too late had a very different usage in a large area of the US. One learns from their mistakes, if provided a chance to learn from them.
About 29 hours later, a message was received
I opened the post in question up, looked at it for about half a second and realized it wasn't something I wanted to look into any further. Hit the "back" button and read a different post I was interested in and never even noticed that post again. Wouldn't have even known it was removed as it wasn't something I wanted to view.
Even though you probably do so in much shorter time in most instances, 29 hours is unrealistic to expect you to address a MINOR issue on a message board you host in your valuable spare time. The response you got when pointing out you have full-time paid work was rude enough that I doubt I would have the patience to even be debating the ban. It is very calm/patient of you to pause and think on it (probably for more than 29 hours). Life is too short to put up with someone being that rude both with their expectations and with their response.
I know I have posted somewhat rude responses and I have read replies to me that were very obviously meant to be somewhat rude. However, they were rude in the sense of people have an energetic discussion about a topic they are very interested in and disagreeing with each other. The response you received read as a "I don't care about you as a fellow human being, so just do what I want" level of rudeness.
Keep up the great work Wendell. It is amazing how well developed and ran this website is. But, ESPECIALLY when considering that it is a passion project and not your full time job!!
@jon-payne Thank you for the thoughtful feedback! It's really sad, because he was a long-time member (since July 2, 2010, just a couple days post-launch). I try to be patient, but it's really hard to do that sometimes. I have to remind myself that maybe the guy was having a bad day or something. That doesn't excuse abusive behavior, but we all make mistakes.
In the earlier days, I used to stew and worry about messages like this. It was having a negative impact on my life -- but that was partially my fault for allowing it to happen. I would argue back and forth with these people and it only made things worse. At some point, several years ago, I realized it wasn't worth it. So I got pretty heavy with the ban hammer. I've loosened up only slightly since then, allowing people to incriminate themselves at least twice before I pull the trigger. It proves (to me) that banning them is the right thing to do but without allowing it to continue for more than a couple of exchanges. It seems like a good balance and I don't get upset anymore. In fact, I tend to laugh it off now.
It helps that I have an amazing support system (my wife @angel). She's been moderating BBS', forums, social media groups, and even in-person events for many years now. She understands what happens and the best way to deal with them. We actually bounce ideas off each other and we make a good team. I'd probably have shut this site down years ago if it wasn't for her support (and patience).
I liked the old P&R. I could permanently turn it off. As long as I can block it and never see it all's good!!
I don??t understand why the complainant does not contact the poster rather than whining unnecessairly to the Administrators. ????
But I digress
Back in the early days, I found myself getting angry, extremely angry. I didn't like it. I learned that the flow of energy in the universe; is fueled by emotion. It flows on a spiral; positive energy flows up; negative energy flows down. It's a constant struggle. It's a lot easier to go down, but you're not going anywhere; you're going backwards. It's a little bit of a struggle to go up; but you're making progress, going up.
Sorry, I may have dipped a little to the religious side; you can delete me if you like. If we didn't have a gray area, we'd be boring...
